This afternoon after a good and productive morning and a lovely meet up and lunch with an old friend I became acutely aware of the finiteness of my life. Somehow the greyness of the morning sky lifting to an Indian summer afternoon changed how at that moment I was perceiving the world. In that instance I awakened with fear and sadness that one day I will cease being a part of this reality. Where I will move onto if anywhere no one can tell for certain.
As these emotions have stayed with me as the afternoon moved into evening I remind myself of the much repeated saying ‘enjoy each moment as it maybe your last’. How true. We cannot know with certainty what is waiting for us in the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks and months. That certainty lessens as we get older. I realised today how much happiness, enjoyment, connectedness and other feelings I don’t feel as I miss the present moment. I am instead propelling myself into the future or regressing into past events. In doing this as most of us do I miss the present moment and do not allow myself to truly experience it. Reality is, as we all know, the only truth. Unfortunately we either don’t think we have time to savour each moment or wish to avoid the experience.
I have spent part of this evening reflecting on how I can empower myself to live more fully in the present moment and savour the experience. Maybe the answer is for me to consciously stop momentarily at intervals throughout my day, to breathe deeply and connect with awareness to the present moment. How do I feel? What am I thinking? What physical sensations am I experiencing? What is happening? What can I smell, hear and see? Maybe I need to set an alarm on my phone so I am reminded to stop. This I believe over a period of time will facilitate me to learn a new pattern of connecting to and being in the world. This practice may help me to be more present in the moment.